fuck everything

fuck you for never making the time to listen to all the things i needed to say.
fuck you for always thinking i was wrong.
fuck you for ever doubting me.
fuck you for trying to make me be someone im not.
fuck you for all the abuse you gave me over the time.
fuck you for taking advantage of me when i was grieving for my mother.
fuck you for all the lies you told.
fuck you for thinking your family was perfect and i was getting in the way.
fuck you for forgetting all i did for you.
fuck you for thinking i was useless.
fuck you for leaving me to cry it out on my own.
fuck you for making me hurt myself.
fuck you for making me feel like it was my fault you cheated on me.
fuck you for not giving me space when i needed it.
fuck you for thinking everything would be okay.
fuck you for the fact that i could never write down all the things i could say about what you've done.
fuck it, here's a big fuck you to the world and all the one's in it that have done things to me.
FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.

Sometimes I just stop everything and think about how beautiful u are. And everytime, I wish you could stop in that same moment and see how much I care.

♥

Why do you come by if you're leaving?

And why do you give all the way in to take it back?

You're the best thing I never knew I needed.

Beyond Control

Meeting you was fate.
Becoming your friend was a choice
but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

0,0

♥

Worth Waiting For

The worst part of life is waiting.

The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for..

How To Deal?

How do you cope when the one you love
is with somebody else and there's nothing you can do about it.
How do you deal with
the fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do...

It's killing me to know
That your heart's with me
But you're with her cause I chose to be.

Happy To See Them Happy

''The happiness you give makes you more happy than the happiness you receive.''

I feel so happy at this point in my life right now.
I saw my lovers happy with
their girlfriends now.
Well these lovers aren't just anyhow man,
they were sincere to me,
I saw their effort,

but that time i was so indecisive.
I pushed them away
and hurt them in some ways.

And for some reason when i saw them
happy with their new lovelife,
i just felt happy as well.

Coz back at the time and if I chose to be with
one of them
i would probably just hurt him,
not because im not loyal
but because I am a person of responsibilities..
I need to go oversea
and anywhere in the world
and i hate to think that I'm away
and they're there waiting for me
every single day..
missing me...
it's so absurd..

I guess it isn't my time yet.
And i know someday
when my life's journey is at the peek,
i hope to finally meet
the one who is set for me
and God should help me
and tell me''He's the one''.

One of them told me before,
Distance is not a problem with me
as long as you know you love her/him
it's not impossible to stay together.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. -He said.

And that time I was firm with my decision,
I cant bare for him to wait for me to come back everytime. :(

And see now,
he is happy with his new love :)

And it makes me happy too!

I made the right decision,
for him.

♥

You were full of shit.
But you knew exactly what to say.

Hard To Do Easy Things

I probably shouldn't say this but..
It's really stupid when something that could be so easy is being made so hard.
Maybe we're living in that old mindset again
but that's not how I want things to be.
I just find it funny that every single other person in the world
is able to just grin and bear it for a while,
because that's what they want to do.
I guess that's not what you want to do?
Kinda feels like the tables have turned a bit.
I've gotta admit that I'm pretty damn frustrated.