Moving On is Not Easy

whatever i do to hate you,
memories keep coming back
the thoughts of you keep haunting me.
and i can't help but miss you alot.
hai the hardest part here
is when you said to me
that we can't be together anymore
EVER!
i don't know why coz i still love you and
maybe if im right
i know you still love me too.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
the whole situation now.
i just want you back
US back.



hai,for the meantime
i'm going to focus in my career
and work as hard as i can.
i'll keep myself busy.
and hope one day
i could learn to accept the fact that
there's nothing to hope
for anymore.

Friends Indeed

"No matter who broke your heart,
or how long it takes to heal,
you'll never get through it without your friends."

I'm calling out the attention of all my friends
that saved my life,
(you know who you guys are)
I owe you alot for being there during
the times that I almost want to give up my life
and the days that I was dying inside
you guys are there
as my oxygen
you kept me alive
and gave me the courage to MOVE ON.

I won't forget the effort that you had given me
and so also the time that you've spared
with me
even though you are busy on your own life.
If you were not there
I'd rather still be in bed now just
like a dying old granny.

For the record,
I'll focus more now on treasuring and having more time
on my f.r.i.e.n.d.s.
than of one person
that could ruin everything!!!
:/

Happiness

Let's talk about this three Big choices here.
Peace. Love . & Happiness.
If you were to choose from these three
what would you choose and why?

As for me,
I'd go for Happiness
I don't care if i wont have Peace
neither LOVE then i just get hurt,
as long as i have Happiness
then I'm always HAPPY :)

Don't waste your Life making yourself
miserable and sad.
Be Happy and move on :)

I Want It Back

BUT fcuk!
I'm taking it back, how could you
take it along if you wouldn't also bother
to take good care of it.
how rude of you. :/
give it back!!!!!

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Getting Better

Good Day followers :)
wow,today is much better than yesterday.
less pain less flashbacks.
my soul is coming back to me again...
i hope everyday It'll get better & better ;)

anyway,
i have a cute poem for today
i just saw this on the web,
i'd like to share it to all of you,ok listen to this:

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
& so are you...
but the roses are wilting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl's empty
& so is you head...
after you, my love
my only prize
would be a bullet
between your eyes.
kind. intelligent.
loving. and hot.
these describes
everything you're not...
what inspired this
fabulous rhyme?
two parts gin,
one part lime...
my feelings for you
no words can tell
except maybe
got to hell. XD

HAHAHAHA
cute izit?
well,this is dedicated
to all the fuckers EX's who
fooled us in this world!

A New Day Has Come

my day is finally over.
today was a quite freaky and different.
i woke up with less heartache.
i survived the day smoothly.
things iv'e been doing was:

1. Cut & styled my 3 cousins hair.
(and turns out to be nice)
2. i Styled my own hair too
3. i went to the mall and bought something
and eat at MCDO
4. i never lie in bed the whole day
(which is what ive been doing lately)

then my cousin asked me:
"what's gotten into you?"
i replied:
"WELL,THIS IS ME...
IVE COME TO LOOK FOR MYSELF
AND NOW I HAVE IT BACK :)"

....but
but at the end of the day,
i noe before i sleep
i know once i closed my eyes,
i can still think of him
and everything about us :(
i know it wont be that easy.
I'M JUST PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY.
PRETENDING TO BE COOL
AND STRONG.



I'm still hoping that someday
it would still be us.
and OMG writing this sentence now
is making my heart cry once again :,(

hai,i still love you :(
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I wish I had the guts
to walk away from what we had.
But I can't...
Because I know you wouldn't come after me
and that's what hurts the most.

goodnight.

Strong and Happy

How's this
for STRONG and HAPPY?

you thought i'm really strong?
well i was until u left me.
and you thought i will be happier without you?
its all in you thoughts,
when everyday i'm thinking of is
killing myself
SUICIDE.

so i asked you again..

How's this
for STRONG and HAPPY?

The Past & The Present

A friend of mine
stated on his status like this(@msn):
"if there's a way, ill bring you back"

I was curious so i told him:
"then find a way"

you know what he replied to me?
he said:
"nah,it's something impossible."

and he added:
"it's like someone you love in the past,
and someone you don't like in the present."

for a minute there
i reflected what he said in my own situation,
and i can totally agree with him.

damn people just wanna play around.
think it's easy to give up something big for them
and they just take it for granted.
then they will make a new life
and leave us behind.
so the next time we see them
we couldn't recognize the person already
and no matter how we try to know them
we just can't, coz simply
they won't let us.
they're blocking us personally themselves.
DAMN.

Bad Guy Attracts Good girl

Good girls are givers and bad boys are takers- another example of opposties attract. Good girls have a natural instinct to give and nurture and not think twice about expecting anything back. In fact, it makes them happy to give to a guy who is good at taking- they feel needed. The bad boy may also require a little extra nurturing due to a rough past and inability to love deeply or unselfishly.

Good girls find the good in everyone and even she sees the hurt little boy behind his bad boy facade. When she is with this guy, she is always thinking she will be the one to help him (or worse- change him). She won't give up on him as quickly as most people will. She gives him endless encouragement, hoping for him to take a walk on the good side.

Last Talk

wow,
better morning than those of the other days..
i woke up today
without any heartaches.
hmmm there's abit
but not that much.
ohh is it because of what he told me
last night?
yeah he told me something.
you wana know?

ok here it goes..

we haven't contacted each other for
almost a week and more
he was the one who made this decision.
well,can't help but contact him
but will only turned out
to be an argument.

so last night i wrote in my old blog
http://itwasalwaysyou.blogspot.com/
a goodbye letter for him.
then later that night
i saw him online at msn,
my goodbye letter was not to see him again anymore.
hai here i go again...
can't help myself
i chatted him :O
i asked how he was.
he said he's fine. :(
then i asked if he flirted girls already
then he said yes ofcorz. :(
so i had to ask very important
thing that i need to know,
i asked him if he still loves me,
then he said
"i still love you..
..but not that much"
WTF?
seriously,are you trying to annoy me?
is there a thing such "not that much"?!
wtf is this?
can anybody explain
to me what the heck is this?

and last thing,
he told me
"you come here and we will start over"
wow, commander in chief?
god,what should i do
with this kind of man boy?!



CAN U SERIOUSLY BACK OFF MY MIND!!
you left me with nothing when u left!!!
now i dont know who i am!
dammit.